Interview for Antares
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: The interview for the Barian Guardian Punching Bag, Antares Kreiger.


Zexal Oneshot

Interview for Antares

Humor

OC

The interview for the Barian Guardian Punching Bag, Antares Kreiger.

(I own this stuff. Convinced? No? Okay, Zexal isn't there, but you get the bigger point.)

xxxxxxxxxx

D.T.B: Okay, guys, here we are again. This time we've got Antares up with us all.

Antares: Hi, all!

D.T.B: I'm sure you're aware by now that we need to keep him reigned in, so let's just get goin' before he does something we'll all regret.

Antares: Hey.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Question 1 (Guest)

_Antares, when did you join the Barian Guardians?_

'Round the time when the moon in Barian World had actually moved two inches to the left of west-eastern star. I haven't the faintest idea! I know it was about two or three years before Sirius showed up, one year before Epsilon joined, and six months before Lyra. I think.

Question 2 (Guest)

_Who would you rather work with: Yuma or Kite?_

Yuma, DUH! For one thing, Kite couldn't know how to say a proper thank-you if it walked up to him and waved. Yuma, on the other hand, actually enjoys a good duel and doesn't know how to back down. It's nice working with an optimist. Seriously, I haven't the faintest idea how Sirius was able to put up with that guy for three months. I try listening to one of his little explanations, it goes in one ear and out the other. Then I ask him to repeat it; he won't say anything other than, 'No, that's it.' So yeah, I'd work with Yuma.

Question 3 (Guest 2)

_How does your distraction team work?_

Most of the time, we just blow things up. Summon a monster or three and have them blow things up. It always does the job, most of the time. The few times it doesn't, we've learned to improvise. One time, we had to distract a Diamond Dire Wolf from eating one of our Guardians – no, it wasn't Sirius – and blowing things up wasn't working. I think the wolf was deaf. So what did we do? We threw a Watapon in there.

That thing suddenly changed from a wolf to a cat. We actually stopped our job to admire how cute it was acting. I'm not kidding. I was the first to start staring. Took the Barian almost getting eaten – this time by a stupid Pheasant thing – to get any of us back in order.

Bottom line: We blow things up, use something they really like, then stare and admire our handiwork. It gets the job done.

Question 4 (Guest 3)

_Do you like Epsilon?_

Uh... Okay, according to what Barian-san told me, you asked this question in Engagement Ring. Twice. Within a three minute gap. Did you, uh, actually read the story? If you didn't, you should, because the answer is in there.

Question 5 (Ariette5)

_When did you first discovered your addiction towards food? XD_

What addiction? I ain't addicted. I just take more pleasure in my meals than the other Guardians. I'd say 'Blame Alit,' but then again, you totally wouldn't believe me. To be simple, I find the taste of food something that most people – Guardians especially – take for granted. Besides, I'm a growing boy.

[Sirius: No, you're not. Believe it or not, folks, he's actually 19.]

Don't listen to him, folks. He's just jealous because he's only 17.

[Sirius: That's not even remotely funny.]

Question 6 (Ariette5)

_How did you and Siri-chan became friends? I mean, you're practically the complete opposite, how do you get along?_

If I said it was because we dueled together, would you believe me?

[Sirius: Nope.]

Didn't think so.

Well, for starters, I saved his life when he was a knight. That's sure to instill something. For us, it was friendship. Super grateful for that. After we became Barians, he forgot about that little detail, so it was up to me to make sure he was able to fit in. It's true that we dueled a lot and Sirius respected that, but that didn't get us anywhere past 'allies.' Annoying, but true.

The two of us became Ranked Guardians around the same time, so we were given our first assignment together. Lyra joined us and Sirius was having a tough time working with a team. Which, looking back on it, was kinda weird. He went though several missions with teams, so I didn't really see the problem. 'Bout halfway into the mission, we got into a fight about what we were supposed to do. He wanted to do some more recon, I wanted to get into the fight. For the first time in our lives, we were practically at each other's throats. Apparently, Lyra didn't like that – never did, the poor girl – and she actually ran out of the apartment building we were renting to go clear her head.

Guess who the Barian we were chasing after kidnapped?

Yeah, Sirius didn't like that and he actually blamed himself! He said if he hadn't been arguing with me, Lyra wouldn't have gotten in trouble in the first place. I was trying to tell him that it was more my fault – because I started the stupid argument in the first stinking place – but he wouldn't hear of it. Just agreed to work with me and followed Lyra's Chaos Scent.

Do NOT ask how he did that. I don't even know yet. And I've worked with him for five years.

We were eventually able to track the baddie down back in Barian World and slid the pretty red bracelets on his wrists, but Lyra just ended up in more trouble than we thought.

See, the goon we just pinched (Thanks, Chaos Racket.) had constructed the cell she was trapped in to fall into the Lake of Ill Omen when he lost. Sirius was able to get her out of there, but I ended up catching the both of them before they fell into the Lake. By the time we finished the mission, we were shaking like leaves, but Sirius seemed to take to me after that. Even agreed to do a fist bump with me. I mean, come on, that's cool!

Question 7 (Ariette5)

_What are your thoughts of the other Guardians? And Lyra-chan?_

Aquarii's cool. Stern, but cool.

Leonis can freak me out. Freaks us all out, actually. But I don't think he means it. I mean, let's face it, he's a doctor. He's suppose to freak us out.

Sirius, honestly, needs to lighten up once in a while. I try to help him out, but he won't listen to me. The kid's practically my cousin, but he won't listen to a word of it!

[Sirius: I'm not your cousin!]

E-chan, to be very simple, is one of the most beautiful, if not quick-tempered, member of the Guardians. I want to get closer to her, but she won't let me without showing me her fangs. It can freak me out once in a while, but other times, I'm tempted to hug her. Just for the record, the last time I did that, her Number almost killed me. I'm still wondering whether or not it was worth it.

Regelus is just like his teacher. Too much of a workaholic. I told Sirius it would be a bad idea to teach him that part, but there was nothing he could have done to fix it. It wasn't all his fault. Reggy literally asked for it.

As for Lyra, I kinda look at her like a little sister. She's got to be the most innocent Barian in the Guardian Corps and I just have to protect her however I can. That's the one place me and Epsilon seem to get along indubitably.

Question 8 (Ariette5)

_What's your hobby? Aside from eating, of course. XD_

Hobbit? Why would I have a Hobbit?

Hmm? Oh! Hobby! Right. Whoops.

Other than eating – hang on. That's just plain offensive – my hobbies are teasing Sirius and Lyra, karaoke, and Dueling. Sirius hates the karaoke bit though. I drag him there whenever I get the chance. He should just be grateful I don't have an Iphone. Otherwise, I'd post his singing on YouTube.

Question 9 (Yurei Hanatsuki)

_What is it about Epsilon that Antares is drawn to?_

Her heart. What? Did you think it would be something physical, like her hair or her eyes? They only compliment her. They don't make her.

Question 10 (Yurei Hanatsuki)

_What initially drew him to her in the first place?_

The fact that she was the first girl to not swoon when I gave her a compliment. Honestly, that can be a bit annoying after a while. So when she didn't, hey, I had reason to do a double-take. Besides, our first meeting was either me falling or her falling. Seeing as how I caught her, it should be obvious that I was the one who fell.

Question 11 (Arianni Hisoka)

_What are the origins of StarSaberShipping?_

You mean how did me and E-chan meet? Long, fun story. I was just riding along on my steed, minding my own business, when I hear a snapping sound over my head. Naturally, I look up. Next thing I know, I've just caught an angel. 'Course, she didn't really like being called an angel and I couldn't really blame her. She came from a high-class family and there were tons of suitors.

She turned 'em all down. Apparently, it was a bad move to compliment her hair first. I was the first guy to pull it off correctly.

Heh heh. Too bad she didn't really like me in general.

Question 12 (ME)

_How do you plan to get Sirius and Lyra together?_

Now THAT is a plan I want to talk about! I've got the whole thing worked out! Just let me grab my work over here.

[two minutes of banging, shouting, and slamming later]

Here we are!

[places up a board with the word SACREDJEWEL written on it]

Phase one: Wait until Siri-kun's birthday. That's March 14th, so it's the perfect time to spring into action.

[Sirius: CUT IT OUT, ANTARES! {pulls the board away}]

Ah! Siri-kun, that's my plan!

Question 13 (ProbableImpossibilities )

_Antares, what exactly is it that you do? Give us a day in the life._

Let's see. Well, my day starts like every other person's day.

I wake up.

Then I take a light fly around Guardian Tower. Trust me. It's a great pick-me-up when you're trying to actually open your peepers and start the day.

Unlike you humans, we Barians do not eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, or even the occasional snack. So that sets me back a bit. Instead, I choose to duel the first sucker who says he'll take me on.

Yesterday was Sirius. And he was just waking up himself, so that was not exactly the best place to be. Naturally, I was allowed to find a different sucker. Good thing too, because when he's cranky, he lets you know. Takes from his uncle.

Anyway, if I have a mission, that's next in line for the day. I try to get it done as fast as I can and once it's done, I'm allowed to be a total goof for the rest of the day. Come time for bed, if I'm not on watch duty, which I seldom volunteer for in the first place, I'm zonked out in my cot/bed/whatever else you would call it.

Question 14 (ProbableImpossibilities)

_What was your first mission with the Guardians like?_

I had to rescue a Winged Kuriboh from the mouth of monster. I figured it was going to be super easy. Boy, was I wrong! That stupid demon almost swallowed me! I was fighting that thing's tongue and teeth for I don't know how long before Leonis finally realized that I was actually going to DIE! I haven't the faintest idea what he did to make it spit me out, but I don't want to know either.

And what, pray tell, did I get at the end of all my unspoken terror?

Leonis telling me to 'get off my duff and get back to the Tower,' and a pat on the back from Aquarii-san. Yeah, my first mission is not one I would enjoy talking about in polite conversation.

So, that all you guys want to know?

[D.T.B: Yep. I think so. Thanks, Antares.]

Well, you're very welcome. Now, if you don't mind, I have to deactivate a trap I set up a while back. You would **not** want to see what happens when Guardian gets caught in something like that. Trust me.

Xxxxxxxxxx

**D.T.B: And that's that. So, who's next on our Interview list?**

**Regelus: Checking now. [reads] Eh...E..psilon-san.**

**Antares: E-chan!? :D**

**D.T.B: Well, if there are any questions you want to ask her, now is the prime time to do it. Before she backs out on us.**


End file.
